Raising Pure Sons

Q: How do we keep our sons pure in an age like this?

A: Well, the best thing you can do to keep your sons pure is to respect and love their mother. And that's, quite honestly, 80% of it. The remaining 20% is to teach them discipline and self-control when they're 2.

When your son hears about a poor kid growing up without a dad, does that turn his stomach? Dads running off and leaving mom to pick up the pieces - that should really upset your sons. You should teach them that this is not noble; this is not chivalric; this is not what God calls us to. And if you're modeling that in the home, they will pick up on it naturally.

The 2nd thing is that boys are creatures of appetite. They are driven by their passions, by their hunger, by competition, that sort of thing. So you need to teach them to be disciplined and self-controlled when they're 2 and 3 and 4 years old with regard to these relatively simple appetites. If you don't teach them self control in all these simple appetites, and they get to be 12 or 13, and all the sudden the mother-of-all-appetites overwhelms them ... you tell me how they're going to feel?

If discipline is a novel concept, the last time you want to learn it is when your body has just flooded with testosterone. Fathers teaching their sons how to compete in sports without loosing their temper, how to be patient at the dinner table without demanding things from their mother, how to get up and make the bed in the morning - every form of discipline that's in a context of love that young boys get is going to be an aid to resisting sexual temptation.

-Douglas Wilson in an interview on St. Anne's Pub

The Rare Jewel of Feminine Modesty

We are already, as it happens, a casually and chronically pornographic society. We dress young girls in clothes so scant and meretricious that honest harlots are all but bereft of any distinctive method for catching a lonely man's eye.

-David B. Hart

Pressing into the Kingdom

... the violent take it by force:
"they are not lazy wishes or cold endeavours that will bring men to heaven."

-Matthew Poole

The 20-Year Test

Q: What is the 20-year rule?

A: The 20-year rule is: if my children grow up in my church for the next 20 years, singing the songs that we're singing today, what is going to be their view of God? How well will they know God? How much will they know about Him? What will they think about how they're to respond to Him? Will they think that worship is just singing songs that they like in a meeting? That thought helps me think about worship differently.

-Bob Kauflin [interviewed on the Paul Edwards Radio Show]

[BBC photo]

The Manly Art of Self-Denial

To speak bluntly, the essence of Biblical headship is: Sacrifice. Any man whose leadership is not characterized by sacrifice is a counterfeit. God assigned men authority over home, church, and much of nature for the good of home, church, and much of nature - not men. To the contrary, that authority quite often materializes as responsibility that is accepted to the detriment of one's own comfort, preference, and physical well-being.

There was an era when this was widely understood. The measure of a man was rightly gauged by the level of his self-denial; men were expected to go without for the gain of their families, churches, and communities. Today everywhere around us, false-manhood is built around indulgence and adolescent narcissism.

Good men drive old cars so their wives can keep the safer, more reliable, more comfortable vehicle. True men have better things to spend money on than every other outfit in the mid-spring lineup at Kenneth Cole. Real men record sporting shows and watch them with their leftover time. Fraudulent masculinity motivates some men to accumulate toys that real men will pick up at garage sales for half retail value and enjoy with the sons of their youth. At the end of the week, their bodies ache, and there are often personal needs left unfulfilled.

Because of this, authentic Biblical masculinity is low-key and easy to miss. This series of blogs is a tribute to the real men who've taught me by their lives. If I'm exhorting anyone, it's myself.

Question: What does authentic masculinity look like?

Answer: Jesus Christ. Sacrifice.

Miracle Panacea Found!

Today at the dinner table, Gabe disobeyed me and left to get a toy. I promptly told him that I needed to spank him for it, and as I went to get the paddle, it occurred to him that his stomach ached. Not only this, but he needed to go to the restroom right away. With Becki's blessing, we proceeded with the spanking first ... and to our amazement, when it was all over, his stomach felt fine and he was able to forego the restroom visit to stay and finish dessert. Gabe, as sons of a disobedient Adam, we need the healing rod of love - I look forward to the day when we can trade spank stories with laughter.

Pearls, Swine, and the 13th Clown

If there are 12 clowns in a circus ring, you can jump in there and start quoting Shakespeare, but to the audience, you're just the 13th Clown.

-Douglas Wilson

(Whether it's Evangelism or Worship In Question...)

Rich Simplicity - Worship Part 5

Sunday School has taken the responsibility away from the father, and the father loves it. One of the reasons God is not blessing our churches is because we're in the continuous process of doing 'plan B'... You young men and young women need to realize you're wrong in almost everything you're thinking, and start all over again.


You need to submit to church and submit to leaders, but you've got to realize that you're going to walk in and tell this stuff to pastors and not only are they not going to have an answer, they're not even going to know what the question is. So just keep going. Be respectful, but just keep going.


-Paul Washer

Rich Simplicity - Worship Part 4

In our church, we don't have Sunday School. We just haven't found that in the Text. We have catechism and family worship in homes and we look our men in the eye and say: "I double-dog-dare you to disciple your family. We're not going to do it for you, and that includes your wives."

-Voddie Baucham